Perspective: In Thee is gladness, amid all sadness

It had the feel of a pilgrimage—a return to a sacred place. Thirty Bethel friends, representing 15 states and the classes of 1988-1992, reunited on the college campus on July 11-12. We gathered to catch up on the past decade, sing hymns, relive the cafeteria experience, dance to “Love Shack” and make a scrapbook. It was a grand celebration. But, there was also a sense of heaviness as the gathering was an opportunity to be with Janet Forts Goldsmith before cancer took a stronger hold on her body.

Janet was diagnosed with metastatic cancer in February; the cancer, which had an unknown primary origin, had spread throughout her body. She and I had talked for years about planning a small reunion of Bethel friends, and we decided not to put it off again. Others who helped plan the reunion included Sara Jackson, Karen Siebert, Mark Regier and Aaron Rittenhouse.

When we heard that Janet had missed her plane and would be four hours late for her party, we were almost relieved: Our friend was still the same Janet; the cancer had not completely changed her. We thought we might find her weak and frail, perhaps disheartened. But it was still Janet who was the last to bed at 3 a.m., and still Janet who was heard consoling others, saying, “There are worse things in the world than cancer.”

On Friday evening we gathered for a worship service in the Bethel College chapel, where God had met us many times before. We brought vials of water from our homes, from Portland to New York, from Cuba to Nebraska. The piano played the melody to “Shepherd me O God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life,” as we poured the water into a basin on the altar.

When we went up for communion, Janet anointed each of us with the water, dipping her hand in the basin, making a sign of the cross on our forehead, and blessing us with the words, “You are a child of God.” The healing water reminded us that we all have wounds that are in need of God’s love and grace.

“In Thee is gladness, amid all sadness,” we sang a capella at the late-night hymn sing. Janet, snapping her fingers, requested that we sing this at a fast clip. “If He is ours, we fear no powers, nor of earth, nor sin, nor death.” It wasn’t fast enough for Janet; we couldn’t keep up. “We shout for gladness. Triumph o’er sadness, love Thee and praise Thee, and still shall raise Thee glad hymns forever: Hallelujah!”

At the end of the reunion, we asked Janet how we could support her. More accustomed to helping others, Janet was unusually short on words. She asked for prayers, and said, “Just keep talking to each other … stay in touch with each other.”

Janet says it was at Bethel that she met God. And God kept appearing to us all weekend, in tears, singing, conversations, hugs and laughter. In Janet’s words, the reunion was “so much love and hope packed in one small space.”